He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
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You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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