Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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