I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
