were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize