even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize