i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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