community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
