so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
