the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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