you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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