There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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