I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
