we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Floor bacon is actually really good
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
