Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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