Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize