ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
