You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize