Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
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I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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