i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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