Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
