I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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