I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize