On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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