Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize