you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
