I am puke
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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