I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
