with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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