I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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