Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
