Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks

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  (704): you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks http://tfl.nu/c3vj
  Replies (49) Good night (4571) Bad night (1305)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants

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  (403): and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants http://tfl.nu/tpip
  Replies (32) Good night (4381) Bad night (642)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone

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  (902): you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken' (1-902): well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone http://tfl.nu/o9f8
  Replies (8) Good night (2562) Bad night (615)
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  (631): View more from New York

  our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college

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  (631): our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college http://tfl.nu/4e15
  Replies (17) Good night (7452) Bad night (684)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.

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  (319): I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners. http://tfl.nu/k7br
  Replies (79) Good night (2038) Bad night (7052)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!

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  (610): I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin! http://tfl.nu/gtgt
  Replies (14) Good night (9341) Bad night (1727)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.

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  (208): i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home. http://tfl.nu/7itp
  Replies (2) Good night (2170) Bad night (876)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.

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  (337): He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share. http://tfl.nu/463q
  Replies (2) Good night (2195) Bad night (941)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  So basically you were a dog.

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  (860): This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground. (802): So basically you were a dog. http://tfl.nu/0n1s
  Replies (14) Good night (8379) Bad night (1039)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.

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  (214): Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming. http://tfl.nu/yp4i
  Replies (21) Good night (1503) Bad night (1409)
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  (646): View more from New York

  If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better

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  (646): If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better http://tfl.nu/zbhj
  Replies (3) Good night (1574) Bad night (975)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.

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  (206): Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween. http://tfl.nu/c9eu
  Replies (8) Good night (1306) Bad night (532)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."

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  (570): Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could." http://tfl.nu/hbr4
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (858)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?

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  (814): If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right? http://tfl.nu/wp41
  Replies (3) Good night (492) Bad night (399)
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  (845): View more from New York

  brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears

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  (845): brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears http://tfl.nu/i2bc
  Replies (3) Good night (338) Bad night (680)

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