Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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