my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
What happened to fro yo and sex?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize