We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.