haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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