Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality

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  (303): I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality http://tfl.nu/hof4
  Replies (6) Good night (762) Bad night (862)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.

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  (734): I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day. http://tfl.nu/chx4
  Replies (51) Good night (5238) Bad night (626)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.

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  (864): Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint. http://tfl.nu/at98
  Replies (14) Good night (4204) Bad night (735)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  it glows. i had to have it.

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  (904): it glows. i had to have it. http://tfl.nu/ygwq
  Replies (14) Good night (5447) Bad night (957)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.

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  (850): my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster. http://tfl.nu/974x
  Replies (14) Good night (7768) Bad night (1412)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Are you high?

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  (630): Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"? (1-630): Are you high? http://tfl.nu/3xxd
  Replies (21) Good night (6564) Bad night (1103)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.

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  (610): i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome. http://tfl.nu/xt3h
  Replies (8) Good night (2702) Bad night (807)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.

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  (203): You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet. http://tfl.nu/4f2y
  Replies (4) Good night (4178) Bad night (882)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!

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  (956): WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?! http://tfl.nu/nv7y
  Replies (12) Good night (1770) Bad night (550)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.

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  (337): The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata. http://tfl.nu/y7xq
  Replies (2) Good night (1284) Bad night (280)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?

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  (541): So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right? http://tfl.nu/c92i
  Replies (3) Good night (457) Bad night (516)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.

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  (903): I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you. http://tfl.nu/6dmy
  Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (194)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash

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  (516): Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash http://tfl.nu/gbbj
  Replies (7) Good night (691) Bad night (259)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.

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  (954): He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around. http://tfl.nu/uxp2
  Replies (1) Good night (309) Bad night (218)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.

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  (219): If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life. http://tfl.nu/39kr
  Replies (6) Good night (923) Bad night (231)

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