they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....