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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.

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• (415): View more from California

  No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?

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• (786): View more from Florida

  if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass

  (352): View more from Florida

  godspeed.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?

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• (845): View more from New York

  When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?

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