Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Found the puke drawer
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
