One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
