Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
