I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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