I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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