none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you win again, gameday.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
