so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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