Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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