I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
