Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
