I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
