Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
