This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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