Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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