Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
