y did u give ur computer a hand job?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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