I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
