My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
