you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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