Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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