Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
