we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
