I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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