I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
