Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
